Life at Bellerbys College

The Journey

Posted by Jamie @ Bellerbys Brighton

And what a journey it's been. A year and half away from the family really puts the spotlight on one's identity. It's hard to believe that it's all behind me, actually, and that I'm on my way to greater things. Time is such a deceiving concept - we never seem to feel like it's in sync with our lives, or rather, we are in sync with time. When we want it to go slow, it runs faster than lightning but when we need it to go fast, it remains static. But in truth, it's the one constantly changing constant. I'd love to see the day when I finally fall into step with time; everyone has those rare moments when the two points meet and suddenly, there is no place or time more perfect.

Thinking reluctantly back, the past eighteen months of my life has really dragged me through personal growth. Today marks the end of so many things, most of which contain memories that are simly irreplacable and in some way, it saddens me to have to close that chapter. Knowing that the only way I can revisit and relive them again is by reading the very words I've written or viewing photographic fragments makes me that much more poignant. In some cases (if not most), all I have as a souvenir is based in the contraints of my mental capacity. And that's slightly worrying. 

I feel like I've left so many great friends behind. In particular, I can't believe I won't be seeing Mr.Nix for a very long time. The thing about college which I guess I never realised before about school is that you grow very attached to the people you see everyday. They become great comforts to our daily lives because they tell us that everything is at its norm and that we do not have to be afraid of dramatic changes. I still remember when Mr.Nix was gone for two weeks and exactly how I felt each day when I walked into the studio faced with his absence. There was such a black hole in my heart purely because things felt so disorientating and deviant from my daily expectations. And we all have them about everyone and everything. 

When we tried to say goodbye, it was surprisingly humorous. We procrastinated as we rambled on about derelict buildings and leaving traces of our presence behind wherever we are (sometimes in the form of a creepy dollhouse and awkwardly large musical tree). Then after what was meant to be a quick five minutes turned a lengthy half an hour, all I could do was give him the biggest bear hug I could manage with my all-encompassing arms. He has been my support and father figure for the past eighteen months and to be quite honest, he's become my family. When you think about all of the single-serving people that enter and exit your lives (as aptly put in Fight Club), your family are the only people that see you through the adversities. When you pepper time away with your friends, you all become a single entity. That's probably the best and worst thing about Bellerbys. 

Well anyway, to be more concise with my final post, I'd best get to the thank you's and goodbye's. I'd die if I ever forget the amazing teachers that taught me - Dr. Cheng, Dr. Lively, Mrs. Dreiling, Mr.Nix. I have no complaints. Absolutely none. Dr. Cheng and Dr. Lively have been like my pseudo-moms, constantly caring about my general wellbeing both inside and outside the classroom. Mrs. Dreiling... where do I begin?! You are like my big sister, seeing as we seem to share many similar interests and you're always looking out for me. 

I also have to give great thanks to the Art Department - Mr. Fraser, for always being patient with my pathetic computer-challenged ways; Mrs. McDurmot for always conjuring up some fantastical method for building something awesome (and her double bubble dippy doo-dah); Dr. Barr for always checking to see if I'm alright; Mrs. Stewart for being understanding with the havoc that I had wreaked in ALL studios and of course, Mrs. Rudkin for her beautiful Russian accent and inspirational ideas. Everyone has been so supportive of my work and I couldn't have done what I've done without them.

My great Art friends - Asty, Cristina, Chloe, Jia Ling and Weenie. I will surely miss our random talks on teenage pregnancies and romantic endeavours. Plus, not to mention our ice cream adventures at Boho Gelato. 

Mr. Corcut, Mr. Addision, Toby, Fi, Agnes - You are all so willing to help and have also supported me throughout the course.

And of course, how could I ever forget my collection of friends? Too many of you guys to list out (and I'd hate to forget anyone's name) but you know who you are. Thanks for all the parties, the clubbing nights, the mafia games, the laughs and of course, the company. I still remember when I first came to Bellerbys last March and my grandmother had passed away. Dwelling in my room, I heard a shy knock on the door and opened it to a crowd of sympathetic faces. That was one of the sweetest things that has happened to me. 

I'll not go without a grateful thanks to the cleaners who hopelessly attempt to clean my room every Wednesday morning (thanks for vacuuming around the junk) and of course the canteen people who usually sneak a few extra servings for me. Mrs. Peers, ever willing to print my impossibly lengthy documents. 

I've learned a lot about myself and gained a bit, lost a bit. So as I've said before, I'm off to do great things now. Hopefully, everyone I know is out to do the same. 

Jamie is studied A Levels at Bellerbys College Brighton and is heading to California to study Experimental Animation at university in September.

Eating Crepes by the Eiffel Tower - the Bellerbys Brighton French-Themed May Ball

Posted by Jamie @ Bellerbys Brighton

May Ball 2011 (or June Ball, if you will) was the biggest and last social events of the year. More importantly, it was the A2 kiddies' Graduation night, marking the step into the very bane of any student's existence - exam month. It was pretty great, actually, and for some reason beyond my understanding, much better than last year's. Could it be some subconscious psychological bias from the fact that we had a proactive hand in organizing the event to our liking? Or maybe it was some sort of chemical imbalance that ignited our giddy bones, reminding us that it was our last chance to party hard. 

Whatever the case, it was unforgettable for me. 

I always love hearing girls rant excessively over their pre-prom mishaps and emergencies. At least a month before the event, everything seeming revolves around the right pair of shoes or the right colour of the dress. Now, I'd be downright hypocritical if I didn't fess up to playing a part in the banter. Though this year, it was for another reason entirely. I had a very special pocket fairy whip up something unique for my dress (urged to be brought to the UK by my mum), something that I've always dreamt of having should I ever choose to revamp my clothes. 

I'm guessing it's a dead giveaway from the picture that I'm absolutely in love with the idea of Modern Fairytale fashion. Anyway, I admit there were some stiff competition - the occasional scantilly clad and otherwise, absolute extreme end of the pole (a.k.a Mrs. Dreiling and her husband in their AMAZING costumes). Everyone was dressed to the nines and it was nice to see that their "crises" were adverted. 

The food was really tasty, what with it being completely French inspired. I'm a sucker for skinny fries, so I was pretty much happy. The only let down was that I didn't even go NEAR the chocolate fountain, which is, for those who don't already know, the highlight of the ball, really.

Albeit, I couldn't take my mind off of my performance, which was scheduled to go on very soon. This was my second time performing in front of my friends as a solo act, and I've never actually felt so comfortable. I think it was because I was flanked by awesome piano player Long and violinist Dorothy, both of whom really led the song. Thankfully, I didn't forget the words and I didn't trip over the inconceivably snake-like wires. I only wished that Mr.Nix was there to watch me. :(

After the performances, the ballroom dancing started - a new addition to the theme. As predicted, the turnout wasn't much to be bragged, but the few who did dance seemed to enjoy it.

Last but not least, the pseudo-club music began and people were nervous to get loose. Of course, our night was just beginning as a limo pulled up for the after-party at Oceana. Let's just say, it was definitely not to be missed.

The best part of it all was waking up at 1pm the next morning for the first time in a month! I was in school literally for 6 hours a day, 7 days a week for the whole month of May due to all the Art exams. Some people just don't understand the luxury of sleeping in.

As of yesterday, I have 21 days left in Brighton and counting. I'm itching to go home to cuddle with my dog and eat my mummy's cooking. But no, I suppose you have to wade through the adversities before you can reap the rewards.

Sigh. Until then.

xxJ

 

Jamie is studying A Levels at Bellerbys College Brighton

Last Term at Bellerbys College

Posted by Jamie @ Bellerbys Brighton

There's not much left to go. Exactly one month until the end of Bellerbys. I've been thinking a lot about home lately and what the future has in store for me. I'm about to take a massive leap forward in my life and I'm not so sure I'm ready. I'm moving to the West Coast (represent!) to study in CalArts - a dream of mine I've kept since I was 11. You'd think that I'd feel a little prepared for living on my own after staying in Brighton, but truth be told, I'm really nervous. Culture-wise, we're talking about an entirely different entity. Somehow, I feel like maybe I'd be more exposed to nitty gritty aspects of life in the US of A; England was somewhat of a small stepping stone for me.

Nevertheless, it feels extremely satisfying (yet strangely poignant) to finally strike a bold, black line through the first part of my step towards Pixar, and essentially, towards being somebody to the world.

After UCAS applications were done, people keep asking each other where they're going to end up after this. Everyone always replies with a resounding, 'Warwick', or 'UCL', or 'Manchester', or 'Hertfordshire' (okay, maybe not so much the latter). I'm really happy that everyone got what they wanted, but I can't help but feel like a nomad when I say I'm heading to 'California'. Everyone will get to hold onto each other for a little bit longer while I'm the only one crossing the pond. Albeit, I am really grateful for the opportunity, I just... maybe wish I had a little more time?

I'm really going to miss the Art Department the most. The studios have somewhat become my sanctuary and the teachers my family. Honestly, this school puts you in such an enclosed environment, where you're living with your friends, that you can't help but create intimate relationships with your teachers and peers.

Personally, I fair better with people who are older than me, so maybe that explains why I feel like my teachers are my closest friends. It could also explain why I'm always chatting away to Mr.Nix as if I think he wants to listen (yes, I know you can barely stand me sometimes, if not most times). He's been such a father figure to me in so many ways, and sometimes, more so than my real dad has been. You don't get to meet that kind of person very often.

The relationship between Mrs. Dreiling and I is a completely different creature. She's like my non-existent older sister - old enough to give me reaaaaally good advice, but young enough to share the same interests. I can't imagine a day when she's ever without a smile! Also, she and Mr. Nix are like my secret antidote when I'm feeling exam jitters.

I'll probably never forget Dr. Lively and her amazing Psychology classes, nor will I EVER forget the best Math teacher I've ever had, Dr. Cheng. Very different characters, but equally as awe-inspiring. Dr. Lively has really encouraged me to change my eating habits and I love the fact that we can trade our food secrets and tips every class (sort of like your personal nutritionist). Dr. Cheng pushes me like no other teacher has before because she knows I can do it. And to have that kind of support really touches me.

Alas, I can't go without giving credits to my friends. I'll probably find some other time to really expand on this part, but for now, let's just say they've been great.

Who knows? Maybe I'll start an even better chapter this September in California.

Jamie is studying A Levels at Bellerbys College Brighton 

Riding into the Waves of Exam Month

Posted by Jamie @ Bellerbys Brighton

Well, it's safe to say that I'm definitely not going to be an Ivy League girl. I got my rejection letter at pumpkin o'clock and felt quite upset at first, but decided that it's probably for the best. I'm not so sure I can keep up with the fast pace of Harvard life, anyway.

Nevertheless, I'm really happy to say that I'm heading to sunny-side California! Funnily enough, I didn't get chosen for character animation - the course I had applied for initially. This September, I'm going to study Experimental Animation, which actually sounds way cooler, come to think of it! Many have asked what experimental animation is. To sum it up, it's Pixar meets Tim Burton meets Damien Hirst.

Something like that.

Anyhow, the point of this post was to update you guys on my current status - busy.

I finished my Photography Unit 4 exam last weekend and I'm just about to hit the most hectic two weeks of my life. I've got my Art Unit 2 eight hour exam next weekend and a 12 hour Unit 4 exam the weekend after.

People tend to think that Art is easy, but it really isn't. Studying written subjects is basically reading other people's words over and over again, but Art is more than that. It's like a continuous seething wound of creations you have to squeeze out all by yourself.

 

Here's a peek at one of my final photos:-------->

On top of that, we're in the midst of preparing for the biggest social event of the year, the May Ball. (Or June ball, if you must). It seems like it's going to be a "capital time" as they used to say in the '50s.

I'll keep you posted.

-J

Jamie is studying A Levels at Bellerbys College Brighton 

Spring Equinox in Brighton on the Twenty First of March

Posted by Jamie @ Bellerbys Brighton

Many people knew about the Spring equinox - the day of equal parts of daylight and nighttime. However, what most don't know is that this day is also a day of natural phenomenon. The moon, at its' fullest, causes the tides to rise to their highest and recede to their lowest points.

Last year, I read about the low tide in Brighton and found that the water can stretch back as far as the West Pier, so people can literally walk on the sea. I could barely contain my excitement, Googling every tide table and equinox dates possible.

Unfortunately, I missed the Winter Equinox by a couple of days, so when Dr. Cheng reminded us about the 21st of March, I knew that I wasn't going to miss it this time.

Check these out!

It was awesome! The water was so cold, my feet felt like numb stumps of nothing. Nevertheless, it was totally worth it. I wonder if it'll happen in California?

Jamie is studying A Levels at Bellerbys College Brighton

My Saturday

Posted by Jamie @ Bellerbys Brighton

Only 4 hours of sleep last night and I'm already up at 8am, eyes closed, arms moving. I drag myself to the playgroup centre and find myself feeling really worn out. I shouldn't have gone out last night.

We set things up fast and I was looking forward to having a nice cup of tea for breakfast. The kids came in early today and there were more than usual. Everyone was a little bit mischievous as time stretched on. G was sweet as usual but not as playful as before. He kind of used me as a lackie as opposed to other times where I was his Sun and his friend. Played a lot with P and she was such a sweetheart.

Today's theme was Under the Sea, so there was quite a bit of water involved. These three new kids came to join and K was a handful. He threw temper tantrums and was kicking for the most petty of reasons. I think it set all the others off because they started kicking when they got the chance too. I managed to distract them by a water fight. But of course, they found a more effective way to impose maximum damage by throwing wet sponges at me. I ended up smelling like a really wet dog.

Well, it was worth it to just have them happy.

Even L was fussy today and wasn't in his usual sharing mood. I was so thankful at closing time when all of the kids left.

Today was a day of heartbreak. With the kids, with everything else. So I thought about heading out for a good run and started training for the Superheroes fun run in May. I think I'm seriously going to do it. Anybody up for joining?

www.heroesrun.org.uk

I'm at 3.7km now and am aiming for 5K by May. But maybe, if I work hard, I might be able to push for 10K. I'd really make myself proud if I do. What else did I do... OH. Made something small in the wee hours of the morning too. Check it out! :)

And that about wraps up my Saturday.

 

Jamie is studying A Levels at Bellerbys College Brighton

My Interview for Yale!

Posted by Jamie @ Bellerbys Brighton

Here comes the end of two of the biggest interviews of my teenage life.

Yale! 

This time last year, I had never even considered applying to Yale because its prestige intimidated me so. It was kind of like a toothbrush maker applying for a job in the New York stock exchange - I don't think I'd get accepted, but hey, I can make toothbrushes.

We met at a small cafe in an office block in Hammersmith. She told me that she was flexible with the time, but chose to set it at 3pm anyway. I admit I was feeling completely drained from the previous day in my interview with U of Hertfordshire. I was out walking in boots for 9 hours. 9 HOURS. I wished I had worn my blacktop sneakers instead but I'm guessing the mud stains would have not bode well with the interview.

Ms. Stephanie Manson introduced herself but briefly and we started almost instantaneously. She asked me where I was from and confessed that she had never suspected I was Malaysian due to my "very good accent" [I kind of like having that sense of ambiguity anyway].

I told her about the basics - how I moved to Brighton and how long I've been here. We talked about what I liked about this city and then she proceeded on to asking me about my art.

The good thing about this interview was that she knew what I was applying for [as opposed to Harvard] and that she clearly wanted to know more about it. In my commonapp I didn't get much chance to talk about Art so I thought it best to speak as much as I could. My nerves didn't affect me quite as much as the previous session, which I thank God for.

So the interview progressed with a few awkward pauses and sounds of her pen scratching on her clipboard [that's another thing - she wrote stuff down right in front of me but Harvard chose to type up the report right after our meeting]. We were talking about my current project on Child Abuse and I was explaining my ideas to her. Then she asked me,

"So describe the development of your art style from childhood to now."

and I could have sworn I heard a very subtle yet evident hint of nervous laughter escape my lips.

"Well when I was younger, my drawings were very comic book-like and kind of cartoony. And as I continued my art I started to develop a natural narrative style which led to my interest in animation. Now, my art is more... more.... uh. It's kind of. I don't know how to describe it.

HERELETMESHOWYOU" [*shoves little art sketchbook across the table*]

As a Yale applicant, you should seriously avoid using imaginary words like 'cartoony'. Seriously.

   

But anyway, I managed to get past that little momentary glitch and finish up by asking my own questions about the college. I'm glad that she didn't ask any hardcore things like, "Why Yale?" or "What would you bring to the college if we were to accept you? *gives look of reproach and utter seriousness*".

Overall, I think it went pretty well, though I am not expected any good news in April. In any case, I had applied for Fine Art so I don't even know if I'd hop on the bus if the opportunity came by.

That's my take on it. Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Jamie is studying A Levels at Bellerbys College Brighton

The Harvard Interview!

Posted by Jamie Tan @ Bellerbys Brighton

I'm so relieved that it's over. So incredibly relieved. I have been anticipating this interview for the past two months and finally, it's done and dusted.

We rendezvoused at a quaint little cafe called the Birdcage Walk at Ditchling Road. It was a good 20 minute walk in the morning fog for me, and I was sweating by the time I had arrived at the doorstep. The shop owners were just opening up for the day and saw that I was nervously waiting outside in the cold, and thus invited me in. They even treated me to a complimentary cup of hot chocolate said to bring good luck for the interview.

I waited, fiddling with my hands, trying to soothe my nerves by sketching. My friend told me to expect the unexpected - an oxymoron that didn't seem to apply in my case.

The door opens and I look up to find a young man clutching two oversized leather satchels. He immediately knew who I was and introduced himself after casually running his hand through his floppy, chestnut brown hair. He told me that he was suffering from a winter cold and preferred not to shake my hand, which personally, I thought a bit prudent but not at all intimidating. We sat down and he ordered something to eat. He was very much a gentleman and even offered me some breakfast, which I politely declined. I had my energy booster two hours before and didn't need any food in my mouth to obscure my speech.

I have to say that it was very informal and nonchalant. He reminded me that he didn't like stiff conversations and that seemed to settle my anxiety a little. He asked me many questions about my art and my personal background to get a good taste of my character. Thank God I had slaved away all of yesterday trying to piece together a mini portfolio! It was the perfect thing to portray my sense of style and my artistic interests.

To my disappointment, my nerves had gotten the better of me and I struggled to vary my phrases. I kept repeating the words, "...a whole bunch of..." and it was not until the end of the interview that I had realised how limited my vocabulary must have sounded! However, I got the chance to ask him some questions about university life and altogether, the interview went well. He said that I shouldn't worry about anything and that he was going home to write the report this very afternoon.

Harvard dreamers, do not fear the interview. It could have been the most nerve-wrecking 45 minutes of my life, but I really didn't have anything to worry about. I can only hope for good news in the mail in April!

Jamie is studying A Levels at Bellerbys Brighton

The Scrutiny of the Human Species

Posted by Jamie @ Bellerbys Brighton

We are trapped.

Our boundaries are limited, our spaces confined.

We are all being watched; we are all being judged.

We are all Under Glass.

One of Brighton's many prized features, though often overlooked, is its endless calendar of events. I'm in love with this city primarily for its urban, grunge culture that oozes out creativity and artistic expression.

Mrs. Dreiling, my Photography teacher, introduced me to the magic of Brighton theatre performances and it was then that I came across Under Glass. From the one image printed in the catalogue, I was captivated and utterly engrossed

Not only was it a dance performance, it was completely relevant to my Photography project [I'm currently exploring themes of Identity].

I had been religiously slashing days off my calender, drawing the date closer and closer until finally, it was 7pm and I was sitting in the cafe of The Basement. I entered the hall labelled 'The Space' [how felicitous] and we were guided by the blinking signals of a single torchlight. Otherwise, we were walking into a void of complete darkness.

The music starts and it is subtle. Surrounded by glass cabinets and a jar, we filled the empty spaces. Soon, it was we that surrounded the subjects. The specimens.

One by one,  each solitary and isolated figure begins to move. Not to the music, but to their own rhythm. They breathe and then they are still. As a claustrophobic, I was already uneasy staring at their restricted cases.

It was amazing and incredibly esoteric. In a split second, the music and lights would pulsate simultaneously, and that flicker of movement would imprint into the darkness before you. The whole performance really brought to the surface ideas of social conformity and anonymity. I felt like the performers were representative of every one of the 7 billion people on this rotating rock. I was so moved by the piece that I wanted to watch it over and over again.

For anyone who's reading, I strongly recommend you take an hour out of your life to be apart of something truly magnificent. Look out for the Clod Ensemble's Under Glass and many other performances.

 Jamie is studying A Levels at Bellerbys Brighton

Turning 18 Over a Snowy Weekend at Bellerbys Brighton

Posted by Jamie @ Bellerbys Brighton

I can't believe I haven't posted anything for the past 2 months. Has it been that long? It feels like time just dissipates in Bellerbys. We're already halfway through December and 2010 is coming to a close!

What have I been doing? So far, I've sat for 4 SAT tests, finished my UCAS applications, slaved away at my US university applications and started a volunteer job. Productive much?

The SATs were not as fruitful as I would've liked. Not only did I have to travel far to get to the test centers, but by the end of each four hour session, half my day had disappeared! Fortunately, I finished my last test 5 days ago and am in no hurry to ever face the SATs again. All the nights spent learning new words like jingoism, opprobrium, perspicacious and histrionic [bet you've never even heard of these!] and practicing tedious comprehension tasks are well in the past! I can only hope that my scores will suffice for the scrupulous eyes of the admissions officers.

I just turned eighteen 8 days ago. The big one-eight. Everybody kept asking me how it felt like to be a legal adult now, to which I would reply that it's similar to being a kid who's too big to fit in the kiddie pool. Double period Math on your birthday, how glorious!

Thank the stars that school ended an hour earlier due to bad weather. Everybody rendezvoused at the open carpark next door and a massive snowball fight broke out! What a paradoxical event - acts of violence in the tranquil of snowfall. At midnight, my friends serenaded me outside my room and presented me with a massive cupcake. I swear, I've never seen such a sight.

They also threw an awesome birthday dinner for me in Bella Italia. The night ended with some flying lanterns on the beach and games at the Pier. Eighteen-schmeighteen. I'm still young. And God smiled graciously to me and granted me with a four day weekend. Snow, I conclude, is the best thing ever.

Great news: I have a Harvard interview next Monday.

Bad news: I have a Harvard interview next Monday.

How does one prepare for such an occasion? I'll let you know this weekend after getting my friends to drill me with potential questions.

Apart from that, I am due to start my volunteer job this Saturday as a playworker in Fiveways Nursery. I get to play all day with kids who have disabilities.

To be honest, I couldn't ask for a better way to spend my time because frankly, college life makes you selfish. All you ever do is think about how tired you are, or how much work you have, or how little time there is. But by dedicating 3 hours a week to a bunch of children who don't get half as much attention as they deserve, I'm not allowed to be self-absorbed. I don't have to think about anything else but making someone happy.

I'll keep you guys posted on what happens next. The last 6 days of school should be hectic as usual.

xx Jamie T.

Jamie is studying A Levels at Bellerbys Brighton