Cultures of Valentine
Posted by Shiny
A couple of weeks ago, there was a questionnaire from Psychology coursework spreading around Bellerbys collecting information about love. Love may have become an inevitable topic in our daily life. Today I would like to talk about a hit topic which is about different cultures of Valentine’s Day and what love means in different ways. Although I am not an expert on love, I have attempted to exchange ideas about love with some students in our college.
Above all, let’s talk about marriage. Students from different places have different opinions about this. For instance, in China, one man mustn’t have more than one wife, although in the ancient China, some wealthy men could. As for the culture of some countries, a man can have more than one wife.
A few days ago, I saw a piece of news telling that Muslim people in the UK can have up to four wives although this is illegal according to the law. It is said that the British government would subsidize those who are legally having over one partner within Britain. Obviously, the British culture is so tolerant and humanistic, even the law would allow moral cultural issues to happen.
I once had a chat with one of my Nigerian female friends in Bellerbys whose father has got “dozens of” wives. I was shocked and I asked her whether she though this is kind of discrimination. What she said did make me give in. She told me that, “Of course I don’t think it is. Who makes money and earns the living for your whole family? It’s your dad, right? That’s it.” It is indeed a fair comment if we think in terms of contribution to a family. Yet some casual empiricists may argue that women also devote themselves to their family to a large extent. Whilst what men and women do were different, it is not sensible to compare with each other. No matter what people think, as long as there is an agreement between women and men, everything is fine.
The second amusing thing is about the meaning of love by different people which could be controversial though. Honestly speaking, I believe that usually love means feeling in the Western Countries while it mainly means responsibility to a majority of Chinese couples. In this case, Chinese type of love appears to be a bit practical. Nonetheless, being practical isn’t a bad thing as living in the real world, we can’t live impractically, can we? Even feeling might need to give way to reality. Virtually it is the difference between rational love and emotional love.
Modestly speaking, that may be the difference between two sentences: “I feel so HAPPY when staying with you” and “I feel so SAFE…” In my opinion, Chinese youngsters are moving towards the Western cultures and these cultures tend to merge with each other by assimilation due to globalization. There are some students being proud of having a valentine. But do they really love each other? God knows the answer. Do they really support each other? Who knows? Remember there is a Chinese philosophical and economic saying: 经济基础决定上层建筑?！
There was a famous post online distinguishing and differentiating the different goals of male and female in different ages. It could be just a joke, but it is, to some extent, true. Let’s have a bite on this:
What human beings pursue in different ages:
【0 – 5 Years old】
F→Mommy。
M→Mommy。
【6 – 10】
F→Any boys who are not annoying will do！
M→Boys who can bully girls with me.
【11 - 15】
F→A big boy aged 15-18 rather than the disgusting peers in our class！
M→Football, Basketball, Tennis and Table Tennis......
【16 - 20】
F→Those aged 17-18 who are thought to be charming and groovy by many gals！
M→Women, any lady will do！
【21 - 25】
F→25-29-year-old mature intelligent men who have a special taste with a financial success in his career......
M→20-24-year-old well-built women who have got an angel-liked face and devil-liked figure.
【26 - 30】
F→Insist on men who are older than them.
M→20-24-year-old well-built women who have got an angel-liked face and devil-liked figure.
【30 - 40】
F→Someone who are able to have telekinesis with me.
M→20-24-year-old well-built women who have got an angel-liked face and devil-liked figure.
【40 - 50】
F→Men
M→20-24-year-old well-built women who have got an angel-liked face and devil-liked figure.
【50 - 60】
F→Those who can accompany me in the rest of my lifetime.
M→20-24-year-old well-built women who have got an angel-liked face and devil-liked figure.
【70 - 80】
F→The man who I found when I was around 50-60 and he’d better have the ability to take care of himself.
M→20-24-year-old well-built women who have got an angel-liked face and devil-liked figure.
【80 - 90】
F→A man who dies after me.
M→Although I am too old to see things clearly, but I still prefer those between 20 and 24......
This demonstrates the “single-minded” of men since his 20's… Strictly speaking, I don’t think it is absolutely correct.
You may have many reasons for loving a person, but you may also find tons of reasons for you not to love but just to like someone. But if you don’t want to have a girlfriend now, just try your best to criticize! Some students I’ve seen believe that having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is somehow a substitute of having many friends. There is such a huge opportunity cost in this case since many friends will spontaneously leave you alone due to some inconveniences when you fall in love with someone. Perhaps it is only a Chinese way of thinking, but it is likely to be right.
In the afternoon of Valentine's Day, the library was incredibly quiet. Many students have immersed themselves in the deep sea of love. As regard to those who are ignored by Cupid (including me), they usually get together with their friends for dinner after which they will go to either cinema or pub. Life was quite different in China. We seldom celebrated Valentine's Day in China. Yet now it is getting more and more popular. I don't have a lover and hence no Valentine's Day is needed. As far as I can remember, in the same time of last year, as we were living in a host family of large economies of scale, seven of us went out for dinner after which we went to Odeon to watch a movie, but the thing is what we watched was a horrify movie "Hannibal Rising". Yet "unfortunately", the gals didn't get scared whilst the boys did.
This year, we were supposed to use some beautiful music played by our artists in the Music Club to distract us, but unfortunately it was canceled. It is said that when God shuts a door, he will open a window for you. That is quite true. We then found our true love which were Table Tennis and some other sports.
Never had we realized that the Exam Hall was so multifunctional until we used the hall and facilities properly. More and more students enjoyed doing sports within the college. For instance, the queue of playing table tennis has been lengthened. And some students played badminton at the same time in the hall. Brian and Bill were keen on playing football while John enjoys playing basketball.
One of the advantages of doing sports in the Exam Hall is that there are some musicians playing instruments inside, so sometimes we may do sports in the fascinating music which is a free-rider effect. Sporting and music create positive externalities to each other. Maybe, sometimes doing sports maybe be more crucial than having a valentine.
nice man, i like ur writing
Posted by: Billy | 13 March 2008 at 08:37 PM